Pavlov's Couch

A Psychology Student's Mental Experience

Archive for the tag “rejection”

Placement

“It may be possible to provide a placement for you in my department.”
Never has such a simple sentence brought such a sense of relief! Of course nothing is confirmed yet but just to hear that much is a lifeline when I have felt like I am helplessly drowning.

So far my unsuccessful attempts to find a placement have included:
*Anna Freud Centre
*Collingham Child and Family Centre
*Ruislip Early Intervention in Psychosis Team
*Hillingdon Early Intervention in Psychosis Team
*Hillingdon CAMHS
*Three separate wards of Hillingdon Hospital
*Pembroke Mental Health Centre
*West London Mental Health Trust (via dedicated placement and work experience office)
*A number of other placement opportunities, via my university careers centre, who never got back to me at all.
*I have even sent desperate pleas out by Facebook and Twitter (a number of my contacts work in mental Health)

I have had no luck with any of the above, due to insufficient experience, lack of available placement positions, and even once because “we feel that this placement is not what you are looking for”.

After months of trying I am getting very close to my deadline, and I was seriously considering dropping to a three year course. Although that would be easier and cheaper, I will never again get the opportunity to complete a placement within the NHS and have student loans supporting me. Although a lot of charity and other work can be done through volunteering once a week, nothing compares to months of experience within the NHS and hopefully this is what will make the difference when I come to apply to the Clinical Psychology postgrad.

I won’t go into any details for now, since it is earliest stages and I don’t want to count my chickens. But please have your fingers crossed for me!

Seeking Help

I go through phases of feeling there is really something wrong with me, then changing and wondering if it is all my imagination, if really there is nothing wrong with me and I am making mountains out of molehills. So when the letter finally came to say I had been referred to a clinical psychologist, at a time when (possibly thanks to medication) I have been doing well and been depression-free for some time…well let’s just say it took some convincing for me to actually call up for an appointment.

“We don’t have any appointments free. I will call you when we do.” It was hard enough for me to hear that, but I can’t help imagining how others might feel – people in more desperate situations than me, people more sensitive to “rejection”, people who found it even harder just to make that one call. I can’t believe the government is cutting funding to mental health services and charities when what resources we have are already overworked!

I have since had the afore-mentioned call back and booked an appointment. Once again the appointment is ages away – plenty of time for me to convince myself that nothing is really wrong!

On a side note I watched an interesting film the other about mental ill-health: Spider. It was a good film, and had quite an interesting portrayal of the mental illness of tho protagonist. Has anyone else seen this?

Finally I would like to say a quick hi to PianoMaths *waves* (excuse lack of proper link, its a pain on mobile!). PianoMaths kept me company tonight and convinced me to try sleeping. So now s shall do just night!

Nini all!

Keep Moving Forward

Unfortunately I did not get the placement I applied for. It upset me quite a lot when I first found out, I was filled with feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.

But now a bit of time has passed and I am able to view things in a much more constructive way. I have been able to learn a lot from the experience, and have done more research into how to succeed in interviews (the best of which I have crammed into an article I’ve written for the next PsychNews, so keep your eyes peeled!). I know now that I will do even better in the next interview I face thanks to this experience.

I have also found a back-up placement. It is at where I volunteer, which is why ideally I would like to avoid it for the sake of widening my experiences. But it is there as a fallback, which takes the pressure off somewhat.

I have finally managed to get myself in gear and start revising. I am tackling statistics first since I missed almost all of the lectures. There is an awful lot that I don’t understand, but I am getting there slowly. MS OneNote is proving to be a real godsend for my note-making/revising despite its many flaws, thank you Gil for insisting I try it out!

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